Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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