maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
