My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
