Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
