all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
