The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i believe in u and ur pee
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
