I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
