16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
