I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
