Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
