Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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