We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
