There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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