marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
