May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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