Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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