some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
there is glitter all over my balls
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