all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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