i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
