Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
