so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
