Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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