Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
