Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
