Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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