Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
