put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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