so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sext me about skeletons
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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