How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
