There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My vagina is officially offended.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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