Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I could have mohawked her pubes.
handjob tips. give me some.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
