thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
smell my finger.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
