I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
