I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Randomize
