Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
