3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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