I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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