found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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