we have officially lost it.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
