Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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