Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
