Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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