hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I currently don't understand fingers.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
