I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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