you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
