Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
