Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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