why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
