I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just fell off a train. Bad.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
