so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Randomize
