She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
