More tranny stories later!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
