I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
