I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
