You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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