Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
