I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
