Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
