But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
