Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
