in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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